Facebook Flirting and Relationships - Is it cheating?

Well being single isn't a walk in the park now is it? You ever been in a relationship and all of a sudden you notice your significant other is spending a lot of time on Facebook? You wonder how somebody could burn so much time on that site. Sure, I play on facebook myself. But there's only so many likes and comments one can say about stuff right?

Then you notice something has changed. Your girlfriend just doesn't seem to be acting quite like she used to... She seems distracted, distant even. Things that didn't bother her before seems to surface and she suddenly has issues with some of the things about you or your kids or the dog or...Well, you know what I'm saying....

What could be the problem? I'm thinking, well we have been together for a few months now (living together) and the fire has to go down sometime. We just need to talk about it and make sure we are still into each other. What's all the fuss? We can get that fire going again...Right?

I'd like to think so. But still the long nights on facebook and constant "clicking" on the keyboards while I'm watching TV starts to make a guy wonder. I understand she is just catching up with some old high school friends... It's been 25 years and all... A lot has happened..

"Who ya talking to"? I say... "Oh.. Just my friend. We have a lot in common". Then the phone starts ringing... Seems to be a guy asking to talk to her. Things start getting more complicated. After facebook closes down then comes lots of tapping on the phone. Text messages.

Needless to say the relationship failed.

So what does constitute "cheating" anyways? Is talking to an old friend and having pet names like baby, honey, sweetie make it cheating? Or going further? If the 2 players never have "physical elements" to the friendship is that simply all it is? A friendship?

I have heard it said that the Internet is particularly bad on marriages and relationships. Isn't facebook simply a communication tool like a telephone? People seem to have different opinions on what is right and wrong about using these tools and being in a relationship.

Here is a list of things I have considered on this subject and allows you the reader to consider and what to look out for. This of course is from some of my own experience(s)

Long Hours on Social Sites - Is 4 to 5 minimum hours a day to much?
Minimizing the Browser - Hey, I'm just walking by to get a diet coke
Always logging off - Don't want anybody invading the privacy.
Sexual activity ceases - Wow, we used to get it on daily
Aloofness - Are you OK...We havn't been talking much lately
Adding lots of new and old "friends" - Didn't you guys used to go out?
Laughter and giddiness on the phone - Wow, they must be having a great conversation.
Increased texting - I don't remember you texting all the time a few weeks ago.

This and other clues may give a guy insight about things...You know how the saying goes.."If you got that gut feeling that something is wrong, it probably is.

Let's take another look at it. Perhaps from the other side. Maybe your just an "insecure" person... Maybe just reading a little to much into it. Perhaps it simply is just a "friendship" between a man and a woman who used to know each other well or met online and simply have a lot in common. Everybody needs friends. 

Friendships between men and women should be saved for another hub as most people certainly have many opinions about that.  Including myself...But that's for another day. 

I have read some other hubs and blog posts on this facebook flirting subject. Some have been from the person that is involved in the flirting activities... That they are regretfully excited about the friendship (relationship?). And that they feel guilty about it and have either cut it off or continue to "hide" it because the one they are with currently are simply "lame" and not affectionate.

Guilty - they say... Even if nothing is going on sexually? That was consistently  the argument I kept hearing... Nothing is going on. We just talk. I wanted to meet her friend and did and he was rather forward with her. Handsy. Intense flirting, kissing on cheek etc... I really felt out of place. Taking her out to the car to look at an old yearbook made it worse. I was not invited. 

So it is my opinion that if your going to be in a relationship, then...uh... consider the significant other in the matters of social networking sites. I can talk (and flirt) with the best of em on the internet. But I only do it if I'm single. If there's a problem with the romance... Let's work on it and make it better. If it can't be fixed... Then changes may be necessary.

I can't change anybody else except myself. If this change involves ending a relationship for the better of both of us...So be it.

This post is really about "getting things off my chest" (Can you tell) It's often the best therapy. And this blogger can't afford a real therapist ya know?

Kissy, kissy.... Miss u.